[外絮] 周六夜現場嘲笑嘴綠的禁賽 模仿本尊道歉

https://tinyurl.com/mrxffpj4 Ali Thanawalla, NBC Sports Bayarea Warriors' Draymond Green roasted for suspension by ‘SNL' 《週六夜現場》嘲笑嘴綠的禁賽 (SNL是NBC旗下的節目) https://twitter.com/nbcsnl/status/1726120888540529107 https://streamable.com/9b9ytr 逐字稿 Che: This week, the NBA suspended Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green five games for putting another player in a chokehold. Here to comment is Draymond Green. Whoo! Whoo! 這週，NBA對Draymond禁賽五場，因為他勒住另一名球員。歡迎本人蒞臨現場 Draymond: Thanks, Che. I appreciate y'all giving me this platform to publicly apologize. 謝謝Che。很感謝你們讓我在這裡公開道歉。 Che: Okay, so you are sorry. 那你感到抱歉了嗎 Draymond：Hell nah. Uh-uh. I can't wait to do it again. 才不呢我等不及在做一次 Che: So why are you so angry? I mean, you choked Rudy Gobert for no reason. 那你為什麼這麼生氣啊？我的意思是，你無緣無故勒住了Gobert的脖子。 Draymond: I had a reason, all right? Rudy Gobert is a tall Frenchman who's been pissing me off for years. Imagine if you had a seven-foot baguette in your face talking about,"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." You know? You want to do something, too. 我有理由，好嗎？Gobert是個高大的法國人，多年來一直惹我生氣。想想看，你面前 有個七英尺高的法國麵包對著你笑，「哈哈哈哈哈。」你懂的？你也會想做點什麼。 Che: Yeah, but you got to get why the league is mad, though, right? 但你得理解為何聯盟會生氣，對吧？ Draymond: I mean, not really. It's not like I choked LeBron or Kevin Durant. You know, we talking about Rudy Gobert, the fourth-best player in Minnesota. 老實說，我不太懂，我又不是勒住了LeBron 或是KD。你要知道，我們討論的人是Gobert 灰狼隊第4好的球員 Che: Well, this has been a thing with you guys for years. It sounds like you really hold a grudge. 欸，這件事在你們之間拖了好幾年了。聽起來你真的很會記仇啊 Draymond: I mean, I wouldn't say I hold a grudge, you know, but when someone crosses me, I never forget it, so... Honestly, I feel like the whole situation is being blown out of proportion. 我覺得啦，我不會說我有記仇，但你要知道，當別人冒犯我時，我永遠不會忘記 老實說，我覺得整件事被放大了 Che: You choked a man during a game. 你在比賽中勒住一個人欸 Draymond: Okay. Yeah, but I was trying to kill him. So if you think about it, Che, I showed restraint. 是啦，但我是想弄死他，所以按照這個標準，我表現出克制 Che: So you don't feel bad even a little bit. 所以你一點也不覺得內疚。 Draymond: Oh, I mean, I always feel mad. 我的意思是，我總是覺得很生氣。 Che: No, I said bad. Draymond, Draymond, even your own coach called your actions inexcusable and said your five-game suspension was deserved. 不，我是說感到內疚。Draymond x2 連你的教練都說你的行為無法原諒，禁賽是應得的 Draymond: He really said that? 他真的有這樣說嗎 Che: Yeah. 是的。 Draymond: Hmm. Interesting. 有意思 Che:What are you writing, man? 你在寫些什麼呢 Draymond:Just a little list. Mm-hmm. Stuff I got to do later. 一個小清單，之後得做的事 Che: Draymond, this isn't even your first suspension. I mean, you one-stepped on a guy's chest. You kicked another player in the groin. Draymond這不是你的第一次被禁賽，你踩過別人的胸口，踢過別人的腹股溝 Draymond: Look, Che, I had to kick him in the groin. That's where his nuts at. 聽我說Che，我必須得踢他的腹股溝。他的蛋蛋就在那裡 Che: What is all this really about, Draymond? 這一切到底是怎麼回事？ Draymond: Look, it's simple. The league is too soft these days, all right? Ain't nothing but a bunch of light-skinned dudes with side-scroll, shy-show bob hair, you know? See, me, I play dark-skinned basketball. It hit different, all right? I ain't dribbling all fancy. I ain't shooting from half-court. Mm-mm. I'm throwing big men in headlocks, and I'm putting the little ones in a stone-cold stunner like that. 理由很簡單，現在的聯盟太軟弱了，對吧？都是一些皮膚白白的傢伙，頭髮梳得像側捲 的懦夫，你懂嗎。我打的是深膚色/強硬的籃球。那種感覺不一樣，對吧？我運球不花俏， 也不會半場投籃。Mm-mm，我會對大個子鎖喉，給小個子使出斷頭台落下石的摔角技。 Che: But why? 但為何你要這麼做 Draymond: Because I'm an enforcer. That's my job. I see my teammates in trouble, and I strangle that trouble. You know, all I care about is the safety of my teammates. 因為我是一個打手，這是我的工作，我看到隊友有難，我就去勒住那個問題，你知道 我只在乎隊友的安危 Che: Okay, well, what about when you punch your own teammate in the face? 好吧，那怎麼解釋你揍你隊友的臉 Draymond: You trying to get on the list? 你是想上我的黑名單嗎？ Che: No! I'm just... I'm just trying to understand. You have a very violent reputation. 不！我只想...搞清楚。你有一個很暴力的名聲 Draymond: Oh, thank you. 哦 謝謝你 Che: That wasn't a compliment, man. 老兄，這不是在讚美你 Draymond: Wait, how come nobody ever talks about the good stuff I do off the court? 大家怎麼不說我場外做的好事 Che: Like what? 像是什麼呢 Draymond: Did you know every Thanksgiving, I go down to my old neighborhood and I whip turkeys at people? Yeah. Everybody running, the birds flying. It's fun. 你知道嗎，每年感恩節我都會到老家，向人們扔火雞 大家都在跑，火雞也在飛，畫面很有趣。 Che: What kind of message do you think your behavior sends to the kids watching? 你覺得你的行為對看著你的孩子們傳達了什麼樣的資訊 Draymond: Look, to all you little hoopers out there watching me, I hope y'all learn this. Play with passion, take boxing lessons, and most importantly, be dark-skinned. 那些正在看著我的小籃球員，你們聽好了，我希望我希望你們學到這個。要熱情地打球 ，學習拳擊，最重要的，保持堅韌不拔的態度。 Che: Draymond Green, everybody. 大家，這是嘴綠 Draymond: I'm coming for your skinny ass! 我要來找你們這些瘦皮猴了 備註 模仿的像嗎 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 220.129.204.131 (臺灣) ※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/NBA/M.1700409446.A.230.html